Today, Spootie turned 13. Yes... we are now officially mothering a 13 year old female. Can you tell me where I sign up for that unlimited supply of valium for myself? Now I should say that there are some wonderful qualities and attributes that my daughter holds as her own. She is a sensitive and creative spirit and she does value her friendships. She has a really good sense of humor and is a fabulous musician. However, I have noticed that she has also developed this almost "Sybil" like multi-personality switch that frightens us and small animals in the vicinity. It's not that there's a sudden transformation on this day - it's been coming for a while. However, NOW that she's officially hit 13, she can tell me that she's a TEENager and not a PREteen and that she has a right to some autonomy. Autonomy?
au·ton·o·my
1 : the quality or state of being self-governing; especially : the right of self-government (I laugh at this... this is not something that's really debatable... the government in this household is a DICTATORSHIP. You don't get to govern anything until you leave.)
2 : self-directing freedom and especially moral independence (I laugh at this too: MORAL independence? When she shows me that she can discern that most of the music videos she watches are soft-porn dance shows then I will consider that she has some morality to be independent with.)
3 : a self-governing state (see my laughter from definition 1.)
Now, don't get me wrong. I do believe that there are certain things that a child turning 13 will need some "independent" thought about... or at least I should allow her to think that it is independent thought. Whether or not she does her homework is fully her choice. So are the consequences of her choice. There are some things that I won't give her autonomy on: piercings and tattoos come to mind. She can decide if she's going to eat one of the meals I cook. I even give her a choice here: "Do you want mashed potatoes or baked potatoes?" Of course, the fact that there is a family vote may impact what ends up on the plate.
She has taken to rolling her eyes at me. She also feels she has the right to take certain tones in her voice. I suppose there are those who say that she learns by example. Okay - I concede that there are times that I have used sarcastic tones and so I get that back now. Just now she thought I wasn't looking and she did the little head-bob, mockery thing... you know, when they pretend that they are you and interpret your instruction or correction with scrunched up noses and bobbing heads and the occasional hand gestures of a duck beak going "Quack Quack". I try to ignore those... I don't need anymore grey hair.
So happy 13th birthday, daughter. Now, we have 6 more years to go before you can legally challenge my decisions adult-to-adult. Sigh.
God help us.
2 comments:
"Can you tell me where I sign up for that unlimited supply of valium for myself?" I don't know, but when you find out...let me know? Thanks! Happy Belated Birthday to your Spootie ;)
As much as you may be heaving a sigh of exasperation--can I clone you? or have you train the parents in our county? :)
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